Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius
(Singer: Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Speaker Phone in a Cubicle Farm Guy
(Mr. Speaker Phone in a Cubicle Farm Guy)
You know that the best way to build a team at work is to share,
so you share every detail of every phone call you've ever made.
(Even to your proctologist)
Why be burdened with a head set or holding the receiver
when you can have your hands free to play solitaire on your computer?
(Red four on the black five)
So when you talk dirty to your wife or girlfriend, we can all share the embarrassment
Specially when you misdialed and called the wrong one.
(Who knows a good divorce lawyer?)
Life is hard, and picking up the receiver is harder.
So why bother?
Just crank it up, like that rap music you play in the car with the windows down.
(Yo dog, I've got a deliverable)
So here's to you Mr. Speaker Phone in the Cubicle Farm Guy
for making the living hell of your life
our living hell as well.
(Mr. Speaker Phone in a Cubicle Farm Guy)
Anheuser Busch, Someplace in Scandinavia.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Three Keys to Surviving the Economic Downturn
On Monday, different companies announced a total of 75,000 layoffs. That’s about the number of people who will be present to watch the Super Bowl this weekend. In November, 533,000 people lost their jobs. A month later, 692,000 people joined them. In the last two months of last year, 1.5 million people were laid off. That’s a lot. It’s almost as many people as went to all regular season Tampa Bay Rays games last year for 81 home games.
President Obama estimates that more than 10% of workers will be unemployed before the economic slump passes. And many estimates place the recovery at late 2010. In short, layoffs are a part of the foreseeable future.
Three keys exist in making it through to the other side when you’re laid off:
1. Build your network now.
2. Be passionate and creative, starting now.
3. Have faith, starting now.
Branch Rickey said that luck is the residue of good design. Prepare now in case the worst happens. Find people in your field of work and get to know them. Bring them value. Show them how you can help them. Care about them and engage them personally.
The tools are there: Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, blogging. More important than the tools, though, are the ways you use them. Be helpful. Do what you can as you create your network to assist others. Show them you care. Also, show them you know something about your job. Your network should be a byproduct of your social presence, not its objective. Social media is about being social. Demonstrate your ability to help. It’s worth money, if it comes to that, and the people can be pretty cool, too.
Second, be passionate and creative, starting now. Surviving—and dare I say even thriving—in a layoff starts with attitude. And it’s nearly impossible to create a passionate, creative attitude when you’re worried about paying the mortgage. So start now.
I get to work early in the morning, just as the downtown skyline is backlit by the dawn. It’s breathtakingly beautiful some mornings. For years, I would have walked by that. Now I get out the Blackberry and take a picture. Having the ability to see those types of blessings where they exist, even on a crappy day, helps keep me leveled and sane. I can’t control whether the day is going to be difficult, but I can control how I respond to the difficulties. I have been working to create a habit of responding creatively and with passion. It’s hard. But it helps me see that the difficult is finite—it’s not forever—and it also provides me a chance to expand my abilities and my confidence.
And that leads me to the last point: have faith, starting now. Faith builds your networking ability and your ability to response to difficulty with creativity and passion. It’s also built by those things. When I got laid off in 2001, I had no network. I didn’t really know how to network. I started from scratch. Instead of preparing, I fretted, sitting in the hot water with my fellow frogs, complaining about how the water was getting hot.
By building a network now, I don’t have to worry. If I happen to get laid off, I’ll have done what I can do. I’ll be as ready as possible. That frees me at work, where I can now do a better job because I’m not dwelling on the possibilities. It also helps me to see the future without a job as something I’ve gone through before, and something I am certain I will do better in.
So in closing, I’m going to give you a challenge: if you’re concerned about being laid off, build your network now, think creatively and passionately—show yourself and others how you can help, build your faith now by building your network and making a habit of seeing opportunity, rather than gloom.
Then, make a vow that if you’re laid off, within a year, you’ll have figured out a way to do better than you were at your job. If that’s uncomfortable, make a vow that you’ll pay your bills throughout. It’s possible—I’ve done it. As for what’s possible for you, only you can know that. Losing your job is awful, but you can survive and even cut down the worry now. You just have to believe it, then do it.
President Obama estimates that more than 10% of workers will be unemployed before the economic slump passes. And many estimates place the recovery at late 2010. In short, layoffs are a part of the foreseeable future.
Three keys exist in making it through to the other side when you’re laid off:
1. Build your network now.
2. Be passionate and creative, starting now.
3. Have faith, starting now.
Branch Rickey said that luck is the residue of good design. Prepare now in case the worst happens. Find people in your field of work and get to know them. Bring them value. Show them how you can help them. Care about them and engage them personally.
The tools are there: Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, blogging. More important than the tools, though, are the ways you use them. Be helpful. Do what you can as you create your network to assist others. Show them you care. Also, show them you know something about your job. Your network should be a byproduct of your social presence, not its objective. Social media is about being social. Demonstrate your ability to help. It’s worth money, if it comes to that, and the people can be pretty cool, too.
Second, be passionate and creative, starting now. Surviving—and dare I say even thriving—in a layoff starts with attitude. And it’s nearly impossible to create a passionate, creative attitude when you’re worried about paying the mortgage. So start now.
I get to work early in the morning, just as the downtown skyline is backlit by the dawn. It’s breathtakingly beautiful some mornings. For years, I would have walked by that. Now I get out the Blackberry and take a picture. Having the ability to see those types of blessings where they exist, even on a crappy day, helps keep me leveled and sane. I can’t control whether the day is going to be difficult, but I can control how I respond to the difficulties. I have been working to create a habit of responding creatively and with passion. It’s hard. But it helps me see that the difficult is finite—it’s not forever—and it also provides me a chance to expand my abilities and my confidence.
And that leads me to the last point: have faith, starting now. Faith builds your networking ability and your ability to response to difficulty with creativity and passion. It’s also built by those things. When I got laid off in 2001, I had no network. I didn’t really know how to network. I started from scratch. Instead of preparing, I fretted, sitting in the hot water with my fellow frogs, complaining about how the water was getting hot.
By building a network now, I don’t have to worry. If I happen to get laid off, I’ll have done what I can do. I’ll be as ready as possible. That frees me at work, where I can now do a better job because I’m not dwelling on the possibilities. It also helps me to see the future without a job as something I’ve gone through before, and something I am certain I will do better in.
So in closing, I’m going to give you a challenge: if you’re concerned about being laid off, build your network now, think creatively and passionately—show yourself and others how you can help, build your faith now by building your network and making a habit of seeing opportunity, rather than gloom.
Then, make a vow that if you’re laid off, within a year, you’ll have figured out a way to do better than you were at your job. If that’s uncomfortable, make a vow that you’ll pay your bills throughout. It’s possible—I’ve done it. As for what’s possible for you, only you can know that. Losing your job is awful, but you can survive and even cut down the worry now. You just have to believe it, then do it.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Out of the Closet
I admit it. I'm the only person who doesn't feel a groundswell of pride and anticipation in the days leading up to the inauguration.
Okay, that's an exaggeration, but it doesn't feel like one. I don't vote for Barack Obama. I don't care for a lot of his policies. I dread our inevitable switchover to socialized medicine. But hey, we've nationalized the auto and banking industies; why not socialize medicine?
But Obama is my President for the next four years. If he does well, hopefully, we all do well. Hopefully, he'll be able to navigate our country through a very difficult time passage and see us through to relative stability on the other side. You have to be the worst kind of partisan not to have those hopes.
People have compared Obama to Lincoln, FDR, or JFK to try to capture his essence. I have another comparison: Ronald Reagan. The 70s were a disaster for this country, from Vietnam to Watergate to leisure suits to stagflation and our great national malaise. We exited the 70s unsure about ourselves and our country. We'd seen our best days and the great national lessening would have to continue.
And Reagan came on the scene preaching hope, talking about a great shining city and how it was morning in America. Obama's rhetoric was different, but his message was the same. The long dark night is over and we're going to move forward into the day. That's not a message John McCain can convey.
So, as another morning dawns in America, I'll hope along with the rest of you that this guy has the answer. After all, until 2012, he's the man.
Let's just hope he's the next Ronald Reagan and not the next Jimmy Carter.
Okay, that's an exaggeration, but it doesn't feel like one. I don't vote for Barack Obama. I don't care for a lot of his policies. I dread our inevitable switchover to socialized medicine. But hey, we've nationalized the auto and banking industies; why not socialize medicine?
But Obama is my President for the next four years. If he does well, hopefully, we all do well. Hopefully, he'll be able to navigate our country through a very difficult time passage and see us through to relative stability on the other side. You have to be the worst kind of partisan not to have those hopes.
People have compared Obama to Lincoln, FDR, or JFK to try to capture his essence. I have another comparison: Ronald Reagan. The 70s were a disaster for this country, from Vietnam to Watergate to leisure suits to stagflation and our great national malaise. We exited the 70s unsure about ourselves and our country. We'd seen our best days and the great national lessening would have to continue.
And Reagan came on the scene preaching hope, talking about a great shining city and how it was morning in America. Obama's rhetoric was different, but his message was the same. The long dark night is over and we're going to move forward into the day. That's not a message John McCain can convey.
So, as another morning dawns in America, I'll hope along with the rest of you that this guy has the answer. After all, until 2012, he's the man.
Let's just hope he's the next Ronald Reagan and not the next Jimmy Carter.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Laid Off Can Equal Victimhood or Victory: Your Choice
Sometimes, other people say it better. In this case, it's Forbes magazine, with an article called Advice for Laid-Off Engineers. Of course, the advise applies to anyone who's laid off. But such advice is worthless without the right mindset.
When I was twenty, or even thirty, I could spend days in a blue funk because time was endless. Someplace in the last three or four years, I figured out that time is precious--probably because I have a lot less left than I used to. What I do from this point forward matters. Wasting weeks, days, or even hours, fretting over things I can't control seems like burning money.
A better use of the time is figuring out what I want and pursuing it. That way, when I'm propped up in my death bed, I won't be filled with regret. Life is magic, but magic loses meaning when it's not valuable. What value is a good thing when everything's going well? After a couple months of sunny days, another sunny day is no big deal. After a Chicago winter full of gloom and claustrophobia, the sun is a blessing. So it is to build something when things are bad.
It's hard, motivating yourself when things look helpless. When I was laid off, I spent far too much of the time I was blessed with drinking beer and feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I should have taken the time to figure out and pursue my dream.
A lay off is neutral. Even with what I wasted in my layoff, I can't call it bad, because I learned so much.
You get the cards you're dealt. However bad your hand is, there's someone who figured out how to do more with less.
And you are worth trying to turn your loss into the biggest gain of your life.
When I was twenty, or even thirty, I could spend days in a blue funk because time was endless. Someplace in the last three or four years, I figured out that time is precious--probably because I have a lot less left than I used to. What I do from this point forward matters. Wasting weeks, days, or even hours, fretting over things I can't control seems like burning money.
A better use of the time is figuring out what I want and pursuing it. That way, when I'm propped up in my death bed, I won't be filled with regret. Life is magic, but magic loses meaning when it's not valuable. What value is a good thing when everything's going well? After a couple months of sunny days, another sunny day is no big deal. After a Chicago winter full of gloom and claustrophobia, the sun is a blessing. So it is to build something when things are bad.
It's hard, motivating yourself when things look helpless. When I was laid off, I spent far too much of the time I was blessed with drinking beer and feeling sorry for myself. Instead, I should have taken the time to figure out and pursue my dream.
A lay off is neutral. Even with what I wasted in my layoff, I can't call it bad, because I learned so much.
You get the cards you're dealt. However bad your hand is, there's someone who figured out how to do more with less.
And you are worth trying to turn your loss into the biggest gain of your life.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
The Key Question for Networking and Getting a Job
"How can I help?"
It's a simple concept that's hard to execute, especially if you're laid off. There's no money coming in. You don't know when money will come in. You're the one who needs help. You're the one who needs someone to give you a job. It's reasonable to think about your needs first, rather than worrying about how you can help someone else.
And yet, that simple question, how can I help? is the key to surviving your layoff. Find a way to help and you'll make it in the long run. Here's why:
It's a simple concept that's hard to execute, especially if you're laid off. There's no money coming in. You don't know when money will come in. You're the one who needs help. You're the one who needs someone to give you a job. It's reasonable to think about your needs first, rather than worrying about how you can help someone else.
And yet, that simple question, how can I help? is the key to surviving your layoff. Find a way to help and you'll make it in the long run. Here's why:
- If you aren't employed, helping someone else will help you keep from dwelling on your problems. Looking for a job is a job in itself, but the hours are flexible. Helping someone else will give you a sense of purpose and accomplishment that will keep your mood out of the gutter.
- Helping can build your network. Whether you're helping a civil group or helping people online find places for jobs, people remember you when you help. Helping gives you the chance to let people know what you need.
- Helping is worth money. People will pay for help, especially help that makes them money or make their lives easier. The statement that leads to employment is "Oh, I understand what you're saying. I can help you by..." Everything after the word by is your value proposition.
How can I help can seem like a scary question. You might feel like you're giving up power and providing an opportunity for someone without scruples to take advantage of you. But the question itself gives you control.
You can help me by doing everything I don't feel like doing for free while I bask in the sun over here.
You're always free to say "I can't do that." Or you can say, "I can do that, but I would need $40 an hour."
A great primer on the How can I help attitude is the How Can I Help Wednesdays tab on Irene Keohler's AlmostSavvy website. Irene's question about how she can help is aimed at Twitter users, but the question is a key for building your network and getting a job, if you're goes away.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Your key asset if you're laid off
"The economic outlook is bleak as corporations reported sharp earnings declines last quarter...President-elect Obama said he expects the unemployment rate to top out at more than 10 percent...All the major auto companies reported huge declines in sales over last year...More than 500,000 lost their jobs last month, with perhaps millions to join them in 2009."
You might lose your job this year. The thought tortures you, like an itch you can't reach.
Getting laid off is emotionally complicated. It's like experiencing the death of a loved one. You go through all the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, with a healthy dose of fear as a side dish. Aside from the ego blow and the anger over the unfairness of it all, the structure that provided some safety is gone. No more paid benefits and vacation and sick time. Instead of just showing up and doing your job, you have to find the work, too. What if there's no next job?
When I got a captive job after a long layoff, my wife was thrilled. I had mixed feelings. Beside the relief was disappointment. I had taken on all those tasks and done well at them. We took on debt while I was out, but we made it through. And I had done it--with a lot of help, of course.
In a lot of ways, I never felt more alive than when I was laid off. The work I did mattered. Every single contract I worked on during my layoff was extended at least once. Some were extended for months. I collected a total of seven weeks of unemployment, in a Tampa job market that had almost no technology work.
If you have to run a gauntlet, you might as well decide you'll succeed. You might as well decide you'll come out the other side stronger than you went in. You might as well decide you can handle the challenges and that you aren't going to fail.
There's no appeals process when you're laid off. Accepting your fate and dealing with it--mentally and emotionally--is the first, most important key. From there, you'll have the freedom to find the next thing and run with it.
Your mental energy is your number one asset when you're on your own. And there's a limited amount of it. If you spend your mental energy angry at your former employer, or worried about inevitable failure, you won't notice that next opportunity, that next client, that next skill set.
Getting laid off sucks. Having a network to fall back on is key. But the bigger key is to decide you'll succeed, and then act on that decision. You'll be surprised how well you can do.
You might lose your job this year. The thought tortures you, like an itch you can't reach.
Getting laid off is emotionally complicated. It's like experiencing the death of a loved one. You go through all the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, with a healthy dose of fear as a side dish. Aside from the ego blow and the anger over the unfairness of it all, the structure that provided some safety is gone. No more paid benefits and vacation and sick time. Instead of just showing up and doing your job, you have to find the work, too. What if there's no next job?
When I got a captive job after a long layoff, my wife was thrilled. I had mixed feelings. Beside the relief was disappointment. I had taken on all those tasks and done well at them. We took on debt while I was out, but we made it through. And I had done it--with a lot of help, of course.
In a lot of ways, I never felt more alive than when I was laid off. The work I did mattered. Every single contract I worked on during my layoff was extended at least once. Some were extended for months. I collected a total of seven weeks of unemployment, in a Tampa job market that had almost no technology work.
If you have to run a gauntlet, you might as well decide you'll succeed. You might as well decide you'll come out the other side stronger than you went in. You might as well decide you can handle the challenges and that you aren't going to fail.
There's no appeals process when you're laid off. Accepting your fate and dealing with it--mentally and emotionally--is the first, most important key. From there, you'll have the freedom to find the next thing and run with it.
Your mental energy is your number one asset when you're on your own. And there's a limited amount of it. If you spend your mental energy angry at your former employer, or worried about inevitable failure, you won't notice that next opportunity, that next client, that next skill set.
Getting laid off sucks. Having a network to fall back on is key. But the bigger key is to decide you'll succeed, and then act on that decision. You'll be surprised how well you can do.
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Readiness is all in building your network
Half a million people lost their jobs in this country in November. Our President-elect says that the unemployment rate may top out at 10 percent or more. And it seems every day some other company announces cutbacks.
It's a scary time, especially if you've never been laid off before.
It was a Friday when I laid off. May 25, 2001, the day before Memorial Day weekend. I next worked directly for a company nearly two years later. When it happened, I was stunned, but not surprised. The tech bubble had burst and there wasn't a lot around the greater Tampa Bay area.
Getting laid off is difficult. It hurts your pride and confidence. It makes you lay in bed late at night and wonder why, wonder what's next, and wonder if you'll ever get a job again. You can never be fully ready to get laid off. But if it happens again this time, I will have a better base to work from.
In 2001, the Internet had not yet become social. LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, and Squidoo didn't exist. Blogging was in its infancy. Most job searching took place on job boards. Now, nearly eight years later, I feel more prepared, having gotten familiar with these tools.
LinkedIn is a professional networking site, your internet rolodex. Only your rolodex doesn't include job postings, hints at getting jobs, or lists of people who are friends of your friends. If you aren't on LinkedIn, you need to be. Now. If you want help, contact Irene Koehler at Almost Savvy. Her LinkedIn webinars will get you up to speed quickly.
Twitter is a microblogging site in which you get 140 characters to write your message, referred to as a Tweet. It works on a publish-subscribe basis, where you subscribe to, or follow, others who can then choose to follow you. Of the new-generation webtools, it is the most social, and provides the best opportunity to strike up discussions with people. It also takes a while to build a reasonable network, so start early.
You can use Facebook to build a network, but it is more suited to individuals working to build business and other relationships than building a job-assistance network. You would be better suited by starting a blog using one of any number of blogging tools, such as Blogger (home of this blog) or WordPress. Starting a blog is easy. Creating a blog that shows you have thoughts, opinions, and competencies about your work can provide a nice supplement to a resume.
Which brings me to a question you might be asking: if I haven't been laid off yet, then why am I working on all these things now? Isn't that just negative thinking?
Absolutely not.
If you get laid off, you want to have a functioning network and body of work you can leverage to gain employment. You want to know people to whom you can offer help. You want to be able to ask people to keep their eyes out for you, and be a known and trusted commodity.
So unless you're sure you're immortal in your job, start now. Maybe you'll never need it. If so, you can use your network to help others. But if you need it, you'll have a leg up on people who wait until the axe drops to build their network.
It's a scary time, especially if you've never been laid off before.
It was a Friday when I laid off. May 25, 2001, the day before Memorial Day weekend. I next worked directly for a company nearly two years later. When it happened, I was stunned, but not surprised. The tech bubble had burst and there wasn't a lot around the greater Tampa Bay area.
Getting laid off is difficult. It hurts your pride and confidence. It makes you lay in bed late at night and wonder why, wonder what's next, and wonder if you'll ever get a job again. You can never be fully ready to get laid off. But if it happens again this time, I will have a better base to work from.
In 2001, the Internet had not yet become social. LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, and Squidoo didn't exist. Blogging was in its infancy. Most job searching took place on job boards. Now, nearly eight years later, I feel more prepared, having gotten familiar with these tools.
LinkedIn is a professional networking site, your internet rolodex. Only your rolodex doesn't include job postings, hints at getting jobs, or lists of people who are friends of your friends. If you aren't on LinkedIn, you need to be. Now. If you want help, contact Irene Koehler at Almost Savvy. Her LinkedIn webinars will get you up to speed quickly.
Twitter is a microblogging site in which you get 140 characters to write your message, referred to as a Tweet. It works on a publish-subscribe basis, where you subscribe to, or follow, others who can then choose to follow you. Of the new-generation webtools, it is the most social, and provides the best opportunity to strike up discussions with people. It also takes a while to build a reasonable network, so start early.
You can use Facebook to build a network, but it is more suited to individuals working to build business and other relationships than building a job-assistance network. You would be better suited by starting a blog using one of any number of blogging tools, such as Blogger (home of this blog) or WordPress. Starting a blog is easy. Creating a blog that shows you have thoughts, opinions, and competencies about your work can provide a nice supplement to a resume.
Which brings me to a question you might be asking: if I haven't been laid off yet, then why am I working on all these things now? Isn't that just negative thinking?
Absolutely not.
If you get laid off, you want to have a functioning network and body of work you can leverage to gain employment. You want to know people to whom you can offer help. You want to be able to ask people to keep their eyes out for you, and be a known and trusted commodity.
So unless you're sure you're immortal in your job, start now. Maybe you'll never need it. If so, you can use your network to help others. But if you need it, you'll have a leg up on people who wait until the axe drops to build their network.
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