If you believe, and if you ask for God's forgiveness, you will receive it. Period. After that, you are free. After that, the bottom line is that sin no longer holds you captive. You might fall from freedom from time to time; in fact, you almost definitely will fall. But your freedom is your heritage at that point if you claim it.
The prisons from that point forward are of our own making. We build them and we live in them, straining against the bars that keep us captive, all the while not realizing that the door is unlocked and we can leave.
I don't want my prisons any more. I want to walk out of them free so that I can do the things I know that I have the ability to do.
I don't want the prison of "I'm not good enough." I am through with the prison of "I am a bad person." And I will never live again in "Because of my sin, I am worthless to God."
A couple of years ago, God grabbed my hand in the darkness of my darkest moments. And He walked with me. Through all my crying and fighting and wailing, He walked with me, guiding me out of the dungeons I built. Easing me forward, sometimes so slowly that it seemed like I wasn't moving and that I would never move.
But over time, the changes became evident. The air became sweeter and the darkness eased. And the weight on my heart and soul melted. And I have come to realize that I am no longer there any more.
I am outside and it is pleasantly warm. The sun is cascading down upon me, caressing me with its warmth. There is a slight breeze and the colors are vivid, almost to the point of overwhelming me. The sky is so deep in its blueness, that it seems as if it should be dark. But it's not. The grass tickles slightly as I walk though the meadow.
The prisons are almost out of view now. And I can bask in the light and love of the Father who led me here and who will keep me from going back.
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